The Science of Semen

I've heard the "semen = protein" statement so many times I thought I'd educate myself on it and find out the truth to this "oh so amusing" concept. [This is strictly for educational purposes]
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From Yahoo! Answers:

Semen actually contains very little protein. The proteinaceous material in semen would be whatever proteins were contained in sperm cells and a few clotting proteins (the stuff that makes semen sticky and gooey). For the most part, semen is water. If you dehydrated the water, then the next biggest component is zinc. Also, you have a lot of citrate, sodium bicarbonate and fructose. Don't remember what the fructose was for. Citrate feeds the sperm cells. and sodium bicarbonate neutralizes the urethra and vagina. Also, you polymerized amines (nitrogenous compounds), which give semen its characteristic scent.

People think semen is protein-laden because it has the consistency of egg whites. But that's just the temporary action of the clotting proteins. For those, a little goes a LONG way. So don't let the texture fool you. I'm almost willing to bet that cervical mucus has more protein per unit volume than semen

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From "The Straight Dope":

Start by assuming that male ejaculate is roughly equivalent in nutritional composition to raw egg white (a safe assumption). The normal size egg is about 35 cubic centimeters in volume and contains about 14 calories and 3 grams of protein. the normal size ejaculation is about 5 cubic centimeters, or one-seventh the volume of an egg white; figure it, therefore, to contain about one-seventh the nutrients--approximately 2 calories and .1 gram of protein. Of course, you'll have to adjust those figures if you're talking about Jumbo Size (eggs, that is).

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From Weblog:

Here are some facts you should know:

the average guy produces about 3.5 mL of semen per ejaculation whose nutritional value is:
less than 1 calorie
150 mg. protein
11 mg. carbohydrates
6 mg. fat.
3 mg. cholesterol
7 S RDA potassium
3 S RDA copper
3 S RDA zinc
300 million spermatozoa

semen also contains:
water
ascorbic acid (vitamin C)
blood-group antigens
calcium (yes, just like milk!)
chlorine (add your own little contribution to cleanliness!)
cholesterol (Is this the "bad cholesterol" or "good cholesterol"?)
citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid, fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium (what do you know, these are good for fertilization too!)
prostaglandins (fatty acids that, while not a hormone, perform hormone-like functions)
purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid
sodium (good to have, especially if you've been sweating a lot)
sorbitol, spermidine, spermine
vitamin B12 and zinc (you would think it's a multivitamin)

Random fun facts

Average volume of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 18 quarts
Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
Its muscle drives nature's only known rotary-joint. The tail SCREWS, not whips. (no pun)
Average number of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
Average duration of orgasm: 4 seconds
Average number of sperm cells in the ejaculate of a healthy man: 200 to 600 million
Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches
Sperm lifespan: 2.5 months from development to ejaculation

Now don't you feel enlightened to the wondrous thing known as semen? It really does a body good!

"What was it like? It was like..."

While I am trying to find my blog voice and decide what it is I want to blog about I'd like to keep adding stuff that show the different sides to not only me but my writing. So here is something from my poetic side.

"What was it like? It was like..."

Ice cream headache... not enough for aspirin
Hot sauce in your eye...not enough to blind you
Stubbing your toe...not enough to break it
Sprinkling rain...not enough for an umbrella
A cool breeze at night...not enough for a sweater
Tension in a room...not enough to get up and leave
Spicy food going down your throat...not enough to burn you
Cold water going down the wrong pipe...not enough to choke you
Saying what you really think out loud...not enough to get caught
He tries to get you aroused...not enough to climax
She uses her teeth...not enough to make her stop
Slap in the face...not enough to cry
Drinking to forget...not enough to drown
Wind knocked out of you...not enough to die
That's how it was with us...love,
I felt it...but not enough.

Touch the lives of others by touching yourself

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Labor Day Greetings

I know it seems I've been so absent here lately y'all are ready to convert MY blog space into that gameroom y'all have always wanted. But, the prodigal blogger returns today to show that he is niether dead, nor gone. And yes,  I am still an asshole. As proven today when one of my friends decided to tear-ass into me for not being around more and I responded with the statement "Sorry, I no longer have a job where I get to use crayons". I thought it was funny. So anyway, since I have nothing but time to myself this weekend I plan on catching up on everyone's blogs. So if you get something saying someone commented on a blog you wrote in 1942...that'll be me. However it won't be tonight as you can all guess...yup, that's right, it's Labor Day weekend and instead of having to go to work tomorrow everyone is gonna go out and destroy themselves drinking and partying! I'm actually gonna make an attempt to get out of the house tonight as well...and I absolutely need it!

So I wish I knew what the hell everybody's been up to but I haven't been out of the house practically at all in quite a while. And when I have gotten out it's not barely over an hour "out socializing" and it's "please just shut-up and start pourin'"! We'll see how tonight goes. So, brief though this may be, let me be the first to wish everyone a fantabulous Labor Day weekend and expect to hear from me at some point this weekend in your blogs. But tonight, it's all about lettin' go. I wish y'all were here but since you're not...CHEERS!! Wherever you may be tonight I'll be thinkin' of you...NAKED! (hahaha)...ewwww! I just got a slight shudder...and a little excited. Ok on that note I really need to go.

Luv Ya! Mean It! Buh-Bye!!

Disclaimer (sort of)

This is more for me than it is for anyone else. I am fortunate to be involved with a rather merry band of bloggers that, regardless of professional comedic and/or professional writer status, consistently write about stuff that puts at least a solid smirk on my face if not making me laugh uproariously out loud. So I feel the need, nay, desire to write a disclaimer. I used to write incessantly many years ago and for some reason stopped a couple of years ago. Upon joining the MySpace cult and reading other people's blogs I became re-inspired to want to write again. This would normally be a good thing as I have swarm of stuff going through head at all times. Ever seen "A Beautiful Mind"? Remember his shed? Picture that, in constant movement, in one's head. Just change the math/conspiracy stuff to Hunter S. Thompson meets "Altered States" meets The Name of the Rose meets The Daily Show meets George Carlin, meets...well, you get the picture. MySpace got boring and I stumbled upon Facebook. Though much better as far as interacting with friends, it's "Notes" section just doesn't have the feel to a proper blog so again, my writing stopped. But then I was blessed with meeting Karen jones. She is a blogger [Jones To The Grindstone] who is now back in school going for Masters In Journalism from Harvard University (yeah, "that" Harvard). She is witty, funny (amazingly attractive) and these characteristics show through in her blogs. Now once again, through her inspiration, I am feeling the urge to be expressive. I have been a little hesitant to though because there have been so many personal (serious) hardships lately and I haven't wanted my re-emergence into writing to reflect that. Fear of appearing too angry, too sad, too blah, blah, blah. Anyway, all of this has severely been hindering my creative "cob". And until a can pull said "cob" out of my imaginative ass of insanity I feel these blogs (mine) will be less than stellar. So, at present, just be aware that I'm not writing any blogs to impress anyone. Instead, at present, they are more tugs at that veritable aforementioned "cob". Once I'm settled in whatever situation I end up in, I'm sure the tone and topics will hopefully improve. In the meantime, read if it satisfies you, or makes you feel better about your own blogs or...you're more than welcome to "change the channel". Your choice. Just know I'm not doing this for anyone's approval but my own. I will be throwing some of my old stuff that I haven't posted yet up here as well if only to maybe help inspire me to write new stuff. Thanks for reading. Hope you come back for more.

Discaimer:This was written because "an old friend" who has read the stuff I used to write dropped me a line and said that they missed my rantings, ravings and musings that are my writings. Gotta love friends.

Bad Behavior

Everybody is wonderful, beautiful and great...
until you work with them, live with them, sleep with them or even just have to "deal" with them.


Yep, that's when you get to see the real them and then it's eyes wide open for everyone. I believe in owning bad behavior. And believe me, I've had to own more bad behavior than most anyone's fair share should ever include. I don't believe there are excuses for bad behavior but there are reasons and that is an important distinction. We don't always know why someone is acting out but that doesn't mean that we, knowing nothing about their situation, have the right to say there is no reason for it. And expecting people to know better and be smart enough to get help is presumptuous on our part. Have you ever tried to think like someone less intelligent than you? You can't. We take for granted our ability to discern, adapt, recognize whatever a situation causes and requires. We are the minority. A person who literally does not possess the capacity or the mental capability to see things the way we do should not be faulted for acting like a dumbass. It is, at that point, our choice to either educate them in their errors or turn our backs on them and bitch about the stupid shit they just did. No matter how good the second choice feels, by choosing it, you in turn make sure that the world doesn't get any better. If you really are that smart - prove it. Remember, actions speak louder than words. Always have - Always will.